"I never laugh," said Clark Gable, "until I've had my coffee."
"Coffee," Major Winchester said on the MASH television show, "is not supposed to be a solid!"
"A forty-one inch bust and a lot of perseverance," said Jayne Mansfield, "will get you more than a cup of coffee, a lot more."
"Coffee," said Courtney Love, "is like really evil coffee."
"I judge a restaurant," said Burt Lancaster, "by the bread and by the coffee."
"English coffee," said Fred Allen, "tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve."
"Who shall I shoot? You choose," said Terry Pratchett in Monstrous Regiment adding, "Now listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!"
"My family is really boring," said Penelope Lombard, "They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just To Use Up the Rest of the Film."
"He was my cream, and I was his coffee," said Josephine Baker adding "And when you poured us together, it was something."
"Drinking coffee is kinda my major hobby. The great benefit of being an actor is you have all this spare time," said Craig Parker who plays Haldir in the Lord of the Rings movie, adding "My ideal is just hanging out with people. I think I am innately lazy."
"Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee," said Anne Morrow Lindbergh adding, "and just as hard to sleep after."
"See how special you are?" Anthony Quinn wrote in the Black Orchid, "I serve you coffee in the parlor."
"Why don't you have a cup of coffee at least?" said Barbara Streisand, adding "I, um, I'm a little low in sugar and I don't have any cream, but it's real coffee."
"This is a funny story. We'd asked the guards every day for cappuccino. You know, just as a joke. And they'd come in with their cups of coffee and stuff," said Martha Stewart, adding "And so I get here and I have a spot for a cappuccino machine, and it didn't work. So I don't have any cappuccino. I didn't miss the cappuccino. I missed the idea of cappuccino."
"Once you wake up and smell the coffee," said Fran Drescher, "it's hard to go back to sleep."
"I never worked in a coffee shop and I don't drink coffee," said Scott Patterson, "so I never thought I would become a coffee pusher on TV."
"The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole," said George Carlin adding "If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grande half soy half lowfat iced vanilla double-shot gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet 'n Low and one Nutra Sweet...ooooh, you are a huge asshole."
"Do you know how helpless you feel," Jean Kerr said in Mary, Mary, "if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze."
On Star Trek: Voyager coffee was defined as "the finest organic suspension ever devised."
"Coffee," wrote Samuel Goldwyn, "is not my cup of tea."
"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven," said Steven Wright, adding "and almost went back in time."
"Wine is for aging," said Ken Hutchinson of Starsky and Hutch, "not coffee."
"Coffee and cigarettes," said Jason Behr, "that's one of my weaknesses."
"I'll quit coffee. It won't be easy drinking my Bailey's straight, but I'll get used to it," said Megan Mullally of the show Will and Grace, adding, "It''ll still be the best part of waking up."
"I was seeing everything through pain. I would roll out of bed and do my exercises," said Dick York adding, "I had to do that to work out the remainder of the pain pills. I would drink coffee and go to the set and plunge myself so far into my work."
"I like my coffee strong," it was said on the show MASH, "not lethal."
"The coffee is prepared in such a way that it makes those who drink it witty," said Charles de Secondat Montesquieu adding "at least there is not a single soul who, on quitting the house, does not believe himself four times wittier that when he entered it."
"If it wasn't for coffee," said David Letterman, "I'd have no discernible personality at all."
Also see World's Best Coffee Quotes
Coffee and Espresso Brewing Tips
For tips on brewing the perfect cup of coffee see our section on coffee brewing. You can also read detailed coffee flavor profiles of gourmet coffee and instructions on preparing Espresso Drink Recipes.
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