Funny Quotes About Coffee

Napoleon’s Coffee Lament

I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Savor Your Coffee and Remember

I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, “Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.”

Jim Carrey

Would You Give Your Dog Coffee?

Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning for a cup of coffee and a donut?

Jack LaLanne

Communication and Coffee

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Coffee in the Parlor – Quotes for Life

See how special you are? I serve you coffee in the parlor.

Anthony Quinn, The Black Orchid

The Internet and Coffee

You can use the Internet to find out, from anywhere on the planet: exactly how much coffee is in a certain coffee machine at Cambridge University in England; exactly how many sodas are available in certain vending machines at certain major universities; and much, much more.

Dave Barry

The Coffee of Reconciliation – A Quote for Peace

We shall prepare the coffee of reconciliation through the filter of justice. Through reconciliation, streams of tears will come to our eyes.

Haitian president Jean-Bertrand Aristide, New York Times (1994)

Nailing His Head to a Coffee Table

Dinsdale. He was a nice boy…… he nailed my head to a coffee table.

Monty Python

Strong Coffee Gives Me Pleasure

Strong coffee, much strong coffee, is what awakens me. Coffee gives me warmth, waking, an unusual force and a pain that is not without very great pleasure.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Coffee is one Thing – Coffee Quotes to Live By

I have to say that I think maybe they did her a favor, and maybe she’ll actually get help. Coffee’s one thing, but coke is another. It’s not something you want to really have as a problem in your life. I think we have to kind of stop rewarding bad behavior and actually start helping people.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Funny Quotes About Coffee – Humor of the Bean

Last comes the beverage of the Orient shore,

Mocha, far off, the fragrant berries bore,

Taste the dark fluid with a dainty lip,

Digestion waits on pleasure as you sip.

Pope Leo XII

A Tax on their Breakfast, and it Wasn’t Even Coffee!

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God’s sake, they were blowing peoples’ heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn’t even coffee.

Dennis Miller

Tell Us the Coffee is Ready – A D.H. Lawrence Coffee Quote

Another head – and a black alpaca jacket and a serviette this time – to tell us coffee is ready. Not before it is time, too.

D.H Lawrence, Sea and Sardinia

Setting Up a Coffee Shop

Originally, we were going to set up a cappuccino bar in the showroom, but we’ve been so busy, … We decided when we’re old and grey, we’re going to set up a coffee shop, and we formed the company about 18 months ago when we thought of the name. It’s going to be TLC – Tastes Like Chocolate.

Liz Taylor

Making Coffee is the Only Thing Real Men Do – An Erma Bombeck Quote

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It’s the only thing ‘real’ men do that doesn’t seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it’s on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.

Erma Bombeck

Coffee Enlarging the Realm of Illusion

The discovery of coffee has enlarged the realm of illusion and given more promise to hope.

Isidore Bourdon

Judging a Restaurant by its Coffee

I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.

Burt Lancaster

Funny Quotes About Coffee – Smile and Savor the Aroma

Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.

Edward Abbey

Coffee and love are best when they are hot.

German Proverb

Walking In for a Cup of Coffee – Coffee Quotes

I do much of my creative thinking while golfing. If people know you’re working at home they think nothing of walking in for a cup of coffee, but wouldn’t dream of interrupting on the golf course.

Harper Lee

A Loaded Pistol on the Coffee Table

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table – There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it.

Garrison Keillor

I Want Coffee

I don’t want anything better, I want coffee.

Captain Janeway, Voyage: The Cloud

Coffee and Forest Structure – Funny Quotes About Coffee

Starbucks goes to a great effort, and pays twice as much for its coffee as its competitors do, and is very careful to help coffee producers in developing countries grow coffee without pesticides and in ways that preserve forest structure.

Jared Diamond

Coffee That’s Too Black – A Quote by Malcolm X

It’s just like when you’ve got some coffee that’s too black, which means it’s too strong. What do you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you won’t even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep.

Malcolm X, Malcolm X Message to the Grass Roots Speech (1963)

Intolerable Cold Coffee

There are three intolerable things in life – cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women.

Orson Welles

Funny Quotes About Coffee continued:

Coffee is real good when you drink it gives you time to think. It’s a lot more than just a drink; it’s something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup.

Gertrude Stein

An Omelet, Toast and Coffee

So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda.

John Steinbeck

I Love New York – Funny Quotes About Coffee

But I love New York. I used to set my alarm clock when I was there and get up at 4 am to get a coffee, just because I could.

Gail Porter

Strong Coffee

What is this demilitarized zone? Whatever it is, I like it! Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino.

Robin Williams, Good Morning Vietnam

Sugar Is Always Served With Coffee

Sugar is always served with coffee [in France], usually in large lumps, and it is not bad manners – though certainly informal and not to be done at a luncheon or dinner party – to dip the corner of a lump of sugar into the coffee and then eat it. To do so is to ‘faire le canard.’

Pamela Vandyke Price, Gourmet Traveller (1974)

After Dinner Coffee

During the war one accepted indifferent after-dinner coffee as a necessity, but when, after the war, one sought to find the coffee remembered of days gone by, one found disappointment. I was looking for the rich after-dinner coffee that literally curdled cream if anyone was foolish enough to spoil it with cream.

Constance Spry, Constance Spry Cookery Book (1956)

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