Coffee Humor for Coffee Connoisseurs!
Fresh Ground Coffee
Did you hear about the guy who complained to the barista that the coffee tasted like dirt. The Barista acted surprised and told the patron it had just been ground this morning!
Also see the Original Barista Jokes!
Coffee Or Hot Water
A doctor prescribed a patient to consume a cup of very hot water each morning. The surprised patient answered, “I do that already doc, but my wife calls it coffee!”
Coffee from Around the World
John brought Beth some coffee and told her it came from Ethiopia. “Wow, how did you keep it warm all that way?” asked Beth.
Some Ways You Know You Have Been Drinking Too Much Coffee
All of your clothes have coffee stains on them.
Other people get dizzy just by watching you!
Sometimes when you eat a candy bar you forget to unwrap it first.
Your life ambition has been to amount to hill of beans.
How to Thread a Sewing Machine Using Coffee
If you are an expert at threading a sewing machine – when it is running! – there is a high likelihood that you are someone who is drinking way too much coffee.
Best Part of Waking Up…In Your Cup?
Did you hear about the lady who dumped coffee grounds down another woman’s blouse. She wanted her to know that the best part of waking up was coffee in her cup!
Barista Jokes Two continued:
No Use Crying Over Spilt Coffee
Did you hear about guy whose marriage is in trouble because when his wife spilled some coffee on her hand he was upset because it was really good coffee!
The Best Part of Waking Up…
When you think of how fun it is to have a night out partying, you really are thinking about your favorite part of it all, sobering up with coffee!
Employee of the Month
You knew you had a problem when the local coffee shop awarded you their employee of the month award. The only problem is that you don’t work there!
The Best Barista Jokes!
Coffee Provides Exercise
Did you hear about the guy who got all of his exercise from the shakes he got from drinking coffee!
Coffee, Gasoline and Turpentine
A customer in a restaurant asked the waiter if the beverage he served was coffee or tea because it tasted like turpentine. “It must be tea,” answered the waiter, “because the coffee tastes like gasoline.”
Tell Me a Barista Joke Please!
He Brews, She Brews Coffee
Cynthia: “Bill will you make some coffee.”
Bill: “Can’t you make it yourself?”
Cynthia: “Bill, the Bible says, Hebrews!”
The Cow Without Caffeine
A cow gave birth to a cute little calf and little Johnny looked at the cow and asked his dad, “Is that what you mean by decaffeinated, Daddy?”
How You Know You Are Drinking Too Much Coffee
You find yourself licking your coffee pot clean and you suggest to your wife a vacation visiting the Maxwell House.
You have a habit on chewing on fingernails…of other people!
Instead of sweating you percolate, and you have been researching an AA program for coffee addicts.
You like to help your dog as it chases its tail, and you always introduce your partner as your “coffeemate.”
Barista Jokes Two – More Coffee Humor
Coffee and the Mysterious Symptoms
Did you hear about the lady that sat down at the table and slumped forward as she lamented, “I have a horrible headache and my left breast is killing me!” Her husband answered, “Let me massage your temples honey, and you should sit up and take your breast out of the cup of coffee!”
Did You Wake Up Grumpy?
Did you hear about the guy who asked his friend if he wakes up grumpy in the morning and he replied that he just brings her a nice cup of coffee.
Coffee and the Root of the Problem
Did you hear about the guy that complained to the doctor about the shooting pain in his left eye every time he drank coffee. “Try taking the spoon out of the cup,” replied the doctor.
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Thank You for Visiting Espresso Coffee Guide and Reading Barista Jokes Two!