Funny Coffee Quotes and Sayings

Funny Coffee Quotes by Country

“Coffee and tobacco,” says a Turkish proverb, “are complete repose.”

The ritual of having a coffee and a smoke to relax and refresh isn’t necessary for physical survival, but may be for mental survival.

“Coffee has two virtues,” proclaims an old Dutch saying, “it is wet and warm.”

Denmark isn’t always the warmest place in the world, and with cold weather comes dry air. No wonder it ranks among the top 10 countries in the world for coffee consumption per capita.

“Coffee and love,” states a German proverb, “are best when they are hot.”

If there’s one thing you can say about the Germans, it’s that they don’t like to go half-way in on something. This German proverb proves that in both love and coffee, they want it hot.

“Coffee is our national misfortune,” said a Brazilian coffee farmer in 1934.

There’s irony in hindsight, and with Brazil being the largest producer and exporter of coffee in the world, it’s no doubt a boon that supports the livelihood of a large portion of their population. National “misfortune” indeed.

“Espresso is to Italy,” a gourmet coffee lover once said, “what champagne is to France.”

While not true in all regards (coffee isn’t grown in Italy), the passion of Italians when it comes to espresso is unrivalled in other countries and industries.

“You can’t take the milk,” so goes a Jamaican proverb, “back from the coffee.”

There’s wisdom in some of the simplest things, like accepting something once it’s done. It takes some serious love of coffee to use it as a frame of reference for life.

“An American will go to hell,” says a United States proverb, “for a cup of coffee.”

Coffee arguably powers the go-go-go hustle of America, and woe be anybody who gets in their way.

“The best specialty coffee in Europe is Vienna coffee,” someone once said, “compared to which all other coffee is fluid poverty.”

Ever had a cup of coffee so good that makes all others seem bland by comparison? How about one so good that it tarnishes your perception of all others? The unnamed author here found that cup in Vienna.

“All of the premium coffee in Colombia,” someone once said, “won’t make me a morning person.”

Coffee has an almost magical power to wake us up in the morning, but that doesn’t mean that it will make you productive and happy.

“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups,” said Alex Levine, adding “alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.”

True.

Wait a minute, those aren’t the food groups…

“The first cup is for the guest,” says an old Arabic saying about coffee, adding “the second for enjoyment, the third for the sword.”

Coffee is great for all occasions. How much coffee on the other hand, is another story.

“The city of New Orleans with its famous coffee and beignets, Jazz Music and beautiful architecture,” said Bill Burke, “will be back like never before.”

The nightlife in New Orleans naturally lends itself to drinking coffee, so much so that they even have their own “New Orleans” style coffee.

“China traditionally has been a tea-drinking country,” said Starbucks leader Howard Schultz adding, “but we turned them into coffee drinkers.”

It’s a bold statement for a CEO to claim they’ve changed the culture in a country, but Starbucks may well have been able to do it.

“Nescafe,” says a Mexican saying, “no es cafe.” (This means that instant coffee is not real coffee.)

Sometimes, the name you pick for your company or brand can have unintended consequences…

“We prefer the loss of the coffee,” said Nicaraguan politician Jaime Wheelock, “to the loss of the country.”

In some coffee-growing countries, the two are so closely reliant on each other that priorities have to be explicitly set.

“O Coffee, thou dost dispel all care,” said a 1511 Arabic poem adding, “thou art the object of desire to the scholar.”

Maybe the human race hasn’t changed so much in 500 years…

“I’ll drink Juan Valdez’s coffee,” said Gary Gollehon, “but I don’t want to ride his burro.”

While arguably the most successful coffee brand in the world, Juan Valdez’s donkey is still a source of distraction.

“A cup of coffee,” says a Turkish Proverb, “commits one to forty years of friendship.”

We’ve all had those bonds that sprung up effortlessly over a cup of coffee – sometimes, you have to be careful who you share it with.

“Men should be like coffee,” says a Dutch proverb, adding “hot, sweet, and strong.”

A Dutch variation of the “I like my coffee like I like my women” joke.

“The most stunning thing you can do is to go to Riyadh [the capital of Saudi Arabia] and walk around the streets downtown,” said Thomas Lippman. “After you have had lunch at McDonald’s, coffee at Dunkin Donuts and shopped at Saks Fifth Avenue, one has to wonder if they actually hate Americans or not.”

Is it ironic or just sad that an American brand of coffee is popular near the birthplace of true coffee?

“Good coffee may come from Arabia or India, from the Blue Mountains of Jamaica, or via France with an admixture of chicory,” said British write Dame Agnes Graham Jekyll, “but its flavor and excellence will be derived from daily careful roasting and grinding, a truism universally admitted and habitually disregarded.”

Sometimes, convenience wins over quality.

More Espresso and Coffee Information

Also see World’s Best Coffee Quotes

For tips on brewing the perfect cup of coffee see the Espresso Coffee Guide’s section on Coffee Brewing.

For the history of espresso and coffee see World’s Best History of Coffee, and for a complete list of coffee terminology with detailed definitions see the Espresso Coffee Guide’s Coffee Terms.